Candidate #42

You aren't: using proper tense in your list.  I am: dropping this right Into The Circular File.

Candidate #41

After looking at this mess I think I just threw up a little bit Into The Circular File. 

Candidate #40

I now pronounce you read and rejected .  You may kiss the bride on your way Into The Circular File. 

Candidate #39

This resume left me thinking of thick mustaches.  Aloha to you, as you go right Into The Circular File.

Candidate #38

Do you think their letters of "reccomenation" will keep them from being e-mailed Into The Circular File?

Candidate #37

I know some people struggle with which words are appropriate to capitalize on their resume.  It's good to see Candidate #37 didn't overthink it and went with just about everything.  I hope he doesn't go kicking and screaming Into The Circular File.

Candidate #36

Strange things are afoot at Into The Circular File.

Candidate #35

This candidate can ponder the importance of one letter from the bottom of the can after being thrown Into The Circular File.  

 

Candidate #34

It's the Goldilocks and the Three Bears version of a resume.  This position has too much information. That position has too little information.  But this position fits just right Into The Circular File.

Candidate #33

I wonder if there is a special support group for people who use horrid formatting and tiny fonts somewhere out there.  Maybe Candidate #33 can bring one of their meetings Into The Circular File.

Candidate #32

Into The Circular File is a round dark place where this resume would fit right in.  Into The Circular File doesn't like Candidate #32.

Candidate #31

Where do you get the idea that I want to read that much about you?   Halfway through I am sure I will want to just curl up and crawl Into The Circular File myself.

Candidate #30

Now that we know what insurance companies are doing with all the money they make, we can clean up this disaster and drop this resume Into The Circular File with those soaked dollar bills.

Candidate #29

Why not play a little game while you wait for the turkey to cook.  Remember not to throw the leftovers Into The Circular File.

Candidate #28

I know the job market is tough, but being vague only makes you look a bit desperate and will get you nowhere.  Oh wait, it will get you entrance Into The Circular File.

Candidate #27

Let me tell you how long it takes to get Into The Circular File from where you live.  Oh wait, you're already there.

Candidate #26 Red-ux

A very special submission sent Into The Circular File.  One of our favorite readers has taken red pen to paper in response to Candidate #26's cover letter fiasco.  Do you have your own take on any of the candidates?  Send it on in to itcfblog@gmail.com and we will share it with the class.

Candidate #26

There are so many things wrong with this cover letter, I invite you to take out your red pens.  Don't worry, there are plenty of flubs to go around, any one of which would earn this candidate a first class ticket Into The Circular File. 

Candidate #25

In the 3rd grade, I won the class spelling bee.  Unfortunately, a potential employer doesn't care and it wouldn't keep me from being dropped Into the Circular File.  The same applies to Candidate #25.

Candidate #24

Sadly, the cover letter was not remotely indicative of the attached resume, which was actually well written.  The best you can "hopes" for is a soft landing as you enter Into The Circular File.

Candidate #23

For a good time, come on Into The Circular File. Candidates #3 and #17 are waiting for you.

Candidate #22

Here is the 24,9999th reason a candidate should go Into The Circular File.

Candidate #21

There has been a crappy grammar outbreak.  Please proceed Into The Circular File for vaccination.

Candidate #20

I don't even know where to begin with this one...so perhaps we won't start at all.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.  Go directly Into The Circular File.

Candidate #19

I am pretty sure if Candidate #19 had actually attended Harvard, they would know it's called Harvard University.  Good news though, Candidate#19 has been offered a full ride Into The Circular File.

Candidate #18

Please make sure your emotional baggage will fit into the overhead compartment as you get Into The Circular File.

Candidate #17

Sounds like he is looking for a job, just not employment.  Perhaps he will find a match when he heads Into the Circular File.

Candidate #16

Arrivederci!!! Enjoy your trip Into the Circular File!

Candidate #15

Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda, Into the Circular File you go.

Candidate #14

Today's Lesson:  Multi-tasking during a paragraph can only lead you Into the Circular File.  Incidentally, there was no attachment.

Candidate #13

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...this one is worth a trip Into The Circular File.

Candidate #12

This resume could be an advertisement for a thesaurus.  I have a strong ability for tossing resumes like this Into The Circular File. 

Candidate #11

Lather, rinse and drop Into The Circular File.

Yes, indeed it was a doozy.  Enjoy this riveting selection...

Candidate #10

This came from a young candidate applying for a P/T Office Assistant position.  This post is a PSA to all my teacher friends out there.   Please work with them on how to write a proper cover letter and resume.  Don't let your students fall Into The Circular File. 

I would have posted the actual resume but it was 3 pages long and they only graduated in 2009.   Somewhere in the mix of excessive spacing and font choices, we learn that at one briefly held position they "Made travel arraignments". Sigh.

 

Candidate #9

Honesty is a great policy in a job application but when it's this obvious, I cannot tell a lie, you are heading straight Into The Circular File.

I know you were all curious what the resume actually looked like...

Candidate #8

Although it was already heading there, I believe the last line of this resume clinches a successful deposit Into The Circular File.

Candidate #7

This is a great example of how to go from contender right Into The Circular File.  It begins with spelling the job title wrong and absolutely ends when you call your future employer by the wrong name.

Candidate #1 Redux

Candidate #1 has returned.  Once again there is neither a resume, nor any grasp of proper grammar and punctuation.  Once again she is headed Into The Circular File.

Candidate #6

Our first reader submission!!  Thanks so much for sending it Into The Circular File.  Candidate #6 told our reader that they only have one printed copy of their resume and their computer was broken, so they had to resort to a hand written resume on a yellow legal pad.  Hmmm, I guess they lied about "Copying" being one of their skills.  I invite you all to take your virtual red pen to this gift.

Candidate #5

This one takes the concept of keeping your resume brief to the extreme.  It was also an extremely brief trip from inbox Into The Circular File.

Candidate #4

It doesn't take magic to get an interview, but it does take humility.  Some resumes are just destined to make their way Into The Circular File before they are even read.

Candidate #3

I will be dropping this one Into The Circular File, along with a pamphlet on sexual harassment.

Candidate #2

Let's start with the fact Candidate #2 sent this resume to three different companies in the same e-mail.  I started highlighting all the mistakes, but I ran out of red ink.  This one went Into The Circular File along with the worn out red pen.

Candidate #1

How can I deposit this enticing and oh so funny candidate's resume Into The Circular File if they haven't attached it?!